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chefjacqueslamerde

small portions | tweezered everything | chefjacqueslamerde@gmail.com

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BEEN WERKIN XTRA HARD ON OUR NEW SPRING MENU BROS!!!! RLLY TRYIN TO INCORPORATE ALL THE NEW TRENDS, MOSTLY IN THE SAME DISH + CRANK OUT ALL OUR CONCEPTUALIZATIONS BEFORE HEIRLOOM CELERY SZN HITS AND OUR ROOFTOP GARDEN COMES IN 2 MAX BLOSSUM PHAZE!!!! THIS IS SUMTHIN WE'VE BEEN TINKERANG W/ NATURE VALLEY PEANUT BUTTER GRANOLA CUPS, INSTANT CHOCOLATE PUDDIN COULIS, TARTAR OF BONBONS, ADORABLE HIBISCUS MERINGUES, 1% CHOCOLATE MILK FLUID GEL, MILK CHOCOLATE ASH CHAR, TINY LEAFS FROM THE JANSAL VALLEY AND OF COURSE, ROSE WATER SENTIMENTS!!!!!! YASSSSS!!!!!

MAN DOES THAT THING EVER HAPPUN TO U WHERE UR TRYIN TO TWEEZE SUNMAID RAISINS AND ITS V HARD TO BE PRECISE BECUZ THEY ARE KIND OF STICKY AND THEN YOU HAVE TO SORT OF WIGGLE ALL OVER TO GET THEM OFF?!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2 ALL MY BROS!!! HOPE EVERYONE GETS A NITE OFF W/ FAMILY + FRIENDS. THE ONLY THING I CONTRIBUTED TO THIS MEAL WAS EGGSPERTLY DECORATING OUR TORTIERE!!! YASSSSS 🎄🎄🎄🎄

YIIIIKES BROS JUST GOT SUM FRESH INK DRILLD AND A BRAND NEW PRIMAL PORK CUTS TATTOO OVER MOST OF MY ARM AND A GOOD 38% OF MY RIGHT HAND. IM HAVIN TO TWEEZE ALL LEFTY AND ALSO I PUT COCONUT OIL JUST ABOUT EVERYWHERE BECUZ ITS SUPPOSED TO HELP U HEEL BUT IT FELT SO GOOD WHEN I RUBBED IT IN I JUST KEPT GOIN. I CANT HOLD ON2 ANYTHING XCEPT MY SOIGNÉ CRED!!! FT SPEC 2NITE IS INSPIRED BY THE MANY FEELINS OF DAIRY!!! SMOKING GUN SMOKED VIENNA SAUSAGES PILLOWED IN EZ CHEEZUS, HAND TIED STRING CHEEZE KNOTS, GREEN GOLDFISH TYPE DEALS, LATE HARVEST ZESTY CHEESE DORITOS AND MICRO GRATED CHEESEY POUFFZ!!!! TINY VEGETABLES FROM SAN DIEGO!!!!! COCO SCENTD FISTBUMPS TO ALL MY BROS WHO STOPPED BY THIS W\E!!!!!

FRIDAY NITE BROS!!!! U KNOW WUT THAT MEANS!!!! HALF PRICES GOLDSCHLAGER AND TAB COCKTAILS AND THE AC, THE BTO AND THE OMG FACTOR WILL ALL BE NEXXXXXT LEVEL!!!!! YASSSS!!!! 2NITES SPEC IS A BRO-MAGE TO JOSE'S FAVORITE SUMMER FOOD!!!! CRINKLE CUT OSCAR MAYER WEINERS, RIPPED UP BUN CHUNKS, CELERY SALT, 2 CHILI THREADS, TINY ONIONS CUT LENGTHWISE AND THEN YELLO FOODS 2 WAYS!!!! YASSSSSS!!!!

Fogo Island Inn

JUST ONE OF THE AMAZING DISHES FROM MY TRIP TO @fogoislandinn FOR @fooddaycanada!!!! THIS IS SOME SORT OF DELISHIUS MEAT SITUATION W/ SAVOURY TIMBITS AND MANY MANY TINY LEAFS!!!! YASSSS NEWFOUNDLAND I WANT TO MOVE IN WIT YOUS!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

IF U LOVE ALTRUISM AND FRUITOPIA U BETTER COME HANG OUT W/ ME AN JOSE 2NITE!!!! WE R BRINGIN BACK OUR @RED SPEC FT. RIPPED UP BITS OF RED VELVET CUPCAKE, STRAWBERRY MILK SPHERES, FRUITY PEPPLE SOIL, FRUIT BY THE FOOT SCRUNCHIES, MARASHEENO CHERRYS AND SOME OTHER STUFF!!! HEAD OVER TO RED.ORG 2 SEE HOW U CAN GET INVOLVED AND WHERE ULL FIND US NEXT!!!! YAAASSSS!!!!

LEFT JOSE TO MAKE CRABCAKES 2DAY AND THINGS DID NOT GO WELL BROS!!! I CAME BACK FROM THE BIG Y TO FIND HIM FROSTIN A TRIPLE LAYER, GENOISE + CHANTILLY FILLED "CRAB CAKE"!!!! THERE WERE BACHELOR BUTTONS AND CHIVE FLOWERS EVERYWHERE AND I STILL DONT KNOW WHY HE HAD TO USE ALL MY EDIBLE GLITTER!!!! WE MANAGED TO SAVE SOME MISE, AND WHILE HES STILL MAD AT ME FOR REJECTIN HIS CONCEPT (AND CALLIN HIM AMELIA BEDELIA) WE R RUNNIN THIS SPEC WHICH IS A VACHON BILLOT LOG OVER BOYSON BERRY YOGURT W/ SLAPS OF ORANGE SNACKPACK, LIKORISH TWO WAYS, COOLWHIP PARAPHEPHENALIA, BANANA NERDS AND THEN SOME CRUSHED UP CHOLATE TEDDY GRAHAMS!!!!!

DO YOU EVEN PURPLE YOGURT BRO? TIGHT SPEC FT. PURPLE YOGURT IN A TUBE SQUEEZED IN A NICE WAY, SUNNY SIDE UP GOLDEN OREO THINS, VANILLA PUDDIN DOTS, TINY LEAFS AND MICRO PLANED OREO COOKIE DUST.

YASSSSS PATIO SZN MEANS WE R RLLY GETTIN FOCUSSED GUYS ON FOODS U COOK OVER 🔥🔥🔥. IT TAKES A LOT OF TIME AND THEN JUST PERSPICACITY TO DO IT WELL, BUT RN OUR SPEC IS STRATE FUEGO SO U SHOULD GET DOWN HERE BEFORE WE RUN OUT AND/OR WE HAVE TOO MANY GREEN APPLE SMIRNOFF ICES AND CAN NO LONGER EXECUTE AT A HIGH LEVEL!!!! THIS IS A PREMOULDED RIBLET SANDWICH WE GOT FRZN AT THE GAS STATION, COVERED IN HAND TORN CHUNKS OF CHEDDAR BABYBELL, @lynda_p's COCKTAIL ONIONS, FANCY MOSS AND THEN ALSO DEHYDRATED KRAFT SINGLE TUILES!!!!

Richmond, Virginia

WHEN U HAVE SOIGNÉ INGREDIENTS, U RLLY HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO JUST LET THAT FOOD SPEAK 2 UR GUESTS MOUTH FOR U. U MITE NEED TO ADD A BIT OF FANCY MOSS, OR MAYBE A LITTLE ASH BUT IN GENERAL U JUST NEED SOME TWEEZERS AND A LITTLE RESTRAINT!!!! JOSE AND I CREATED THIS DISH AROUND SOME PRETTY ELITE FISH WE GOT IMPORTED FROM SWEDEN!!!! WE MADE A SIMPLE CEVICHE OUT OF THESE *SWEDISH FISH* USING SOME OF THAT GREEN MEXICAN GATORADE, AND THEN ADDED LTD EDITION BANANA BERRY MINIONS CEREAL, SOME MINI EGGS AND JUST KIND OF SORTED IT ON A PUDDLE OF FROSTIN WE MADE BLUE BECAUSE CONCEPTUALLY IT MADE A RESONATION W/ US!!!!! FUN DIP POWDER BRO DUST!!!!!

NEGATIVE SPACE GAME CHANGER RN BROS!!!! OREO THINS EMBEDDED IN THAT WHIPPED CREAM YOU GET IN A TUB IN THE FREEZER SECTION, CARAMEL PUDDIN, TORCHED MALLOW, CHUNKS OF BROWNIE, BERRY THINGS, TINY LEAFS, OREO COOKIE CRUMBLE!!!!

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